Pieni elämä

After several months listening to the 32 hours of this audiobook, with a story that spanned several decades, I feel I've been on a massive journey with all these characters, which was as beautiful as it was bleak. I've not read many books that explore male friendships in a way that go me thinking about my own, and often reminded me of the film Stand By Me.

I didn't know much about this book when I started listening to it, which perhaps was for the best as I didn't know how bleak it would become at times, and later a friend would tell me it has received much criticism for this. However, I feel very grateful for all the very tender and warm moments in the book, which were perhaps enhanced by the incredible narration from Oliver Wyman.

You need to be either sadist or masochist to endure this work without too much damage. At least 600 of the 720 pages of the book are intense descriptions of intricate sufferings. But I can tell you that you'll never look at your relationship with your significant other the same way ever again as she delves during the whole book on the relationship between the sufferer (Jude) and his friend/lover Willem. Yanagihara in her pursuit of pain is merciless and follows each ramifications to it's bitter end. A life changing work for me.

I feel so heartbroken. I felt like this throughout the whole book. But now it's worse. Now I want to cry for a week. Because none of them deserved pain and yet they got hurt. They deserved the world, all the happiness of it. Everything.
So I feel nothing now. Just so damned disconsolated.