#ptsd

EDIT: Goal already met because I have the best goddamned friends in the Fediverse. 🫶

My cough is getting worse and unproductive, and my partner is starting to come down with it as well.

Now neither of us are in adequate condition to get us moved out of our room in a matter of hours yet again later this morning. I finished the last of our cold medicine tonight. We fed the puppy the last of his food a few hours ago.

I know things are really bad.. everywhere.

I know we've leeched more than our fair share from too many here for too long.

We've taken resources that could've gone to others less fortunate.

We've cluttered your timeline with begposts while failing to follow through on all the recommendations and advice.

Still I come to you once again, pan in hand, pleading for yet more help.

I have something I've been working on - the most colossal Hail Mary (or whatever is the appropriate sportsball term) of my life, perhaps the very last hope I have - destined to likely never come to full fruition, to be a prematurely aborted disaster like most every other major endeavor I've attempted during my mediocre existence.

But I need to get rested and healed first. I need a few days of consistent nutrition and not panicking over the damned motel bill every single day. I need to be able to help my partner as he starts to endure this hellish flu or cold.

If (and likely when) I fail to make the aforementioned project materialize, I'm not sure I'll have much fight left in me. I feel like we're approaching sink or swim time, and I'm no good at swimming so if this doesn't work.. let's just say I've got no "Plan B". None.

Anyway, for the likely handful of you remaining that haven't already put me on permanent mute for my antics: I truly and sincerely wish I wasn't *still* tying up solidarity resources. I wish so much that I could help others. Nevertheless I don't know what else to do right now besides give up.

Evidently I'm not strong enough to be an adult. Something's got to give.

My family needs your help. Again. Please help us get through the next few days here in our motel room, our little place of refuge, while we recuperate and work on our most ambitious attempt at grand failure that we've ever undertaken. Please help us feed our border collie a little longer and put a few things in the fridge.

My dear fellow fedizens, please forgive my constant clamoring for assistance. It is my fervent wish that we could stop doing so. I'm sorry.

If you're willing and able:

https://account.venmo.com/u/thegizmotwins
https://cash.app/$thegizmotwins
https://gofund.me/12171be3
Paypal: penguinpower8182@gmail.com

#MutualAidRequest #MutualAid #MentalIllness #PTSD #Poverty #SolidarityAndResistance #DisposablePeople

I wish people were more understanding toward those who have suffered #TBI and #postconcussionsyndrome related changes. I suffered both due to a vehicle related accident where I was a passenger in 2006. I already had pre-existing #depression + #ptsd in my late teens/early 20's. Oh then I had a bout of COVID and am dealing with #LongCovid related symptoms, largely difficulty breathing with exertion and increased fatigue, plus the possibility of cognitive changes exist there. I function well with certain/specific activities but struggle with others. I know my weaknesses. I am honest about my weaknesses. I've done all the therapies. I am at maximum medical improvement and as close to baseline as possible. I wish folks knew it wasn't my fault..that I didn't ask for this and am trying to get by the same as everyone else. I am just #tired, so very tired.
/end rant